Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman

People will tell you a lot of things about the end of your childhood like "enjoy it, being an adult is miserable," or "you'll laugh about this later" or "get out my face, stupid kid" and while these are very useful (in the completely useless way almost all advice from adults seems), they don't prepare you for anything at all. Like, how the moments when you and your friends can all start doing things like driving to McDonald's anytime they want and book hotel rooms and cry at a desk job, your heart begins this awful series of palpitations and you spend a lot of time feeling like your eyes are glazed over because every thing's happening so fast and you haven't even had lunch yet and, what, when did everyone learn how to pay rates and taxes?!


So I've come up with a solution for those few that are really nauseated by the future (and by 'those few' I mean all of us because hahaha, we all hate this time nonsense - like when can it end amirite): dress up and eat BBQ chicken while one of your mates drinks out of a chalice marked '18' in rhinestones and glitter. There is no better way to avoid reality than with carbs and refashioning your brother's H&M old-man-who's-never-even-been-to-Hawaii T-shirts into a cute asymmetrical skirt and your favourite bangers by Chris Breezy and Taylor Swift from the 2000s. This approach works well with a net tank top from Mr Price, impractical high heels from Cotton On and as many cuffs, chokers, chains and rings that you haven't lost while crying over ugly conversations with adults that begin with, "WHAT R U STUDYING WHERE R U GOING TO UNI FIGURE OUT UR FUTUR RN TYVM."

I also suggest getting ready with a gaggle of your girls every time you go out because there's nothing better than mentioning that your eyebrows are teensy bit overgrown and having three pairs of tweezers and an eyebrow/lash brush waved in your face before you can say, "I'll just cover it up with a ridiculous amount of concealer."

Also, while my methods of denying/avoiding/evading the future are fun, it's also hours of work. What does everyone else do?

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A Post About Summer

Every year when summer finally reaches it's head, I stay up late trying to complete a million-and-one things that go hand-in-hand with my new year, new me approach and regret come first day of school when I'm droopy eyed, in a stiff school skirt, confronted by all the same school bullshit and the relief of routine and pattern after a messy, messy summer vacation.

And I don't think about that regret or that I'll have choice words for my brother when he uses up all the hot water because my head's swimming with inside jokes and the colour blue and My So-Called Life's Angela performing a voice-over as I start up an impromptu art project saying, "There's something about Sunday night that makes you want to kill yourself... and that creepy 60 Minutes watch that sounds like your whole life." And that ticking away of your youth, your memories, your 'why didn't I journal this, will it even be real now' is all the more intensified because you're not just looking at a two day weekend and a Monday but it's over thirty days of everyday-is-so-promising-and-beautiful-it's-like-Saturday-on-'roids and now a sea of Mondays where you'll barely remember the time you woke up at 4am by choice to go watch the sunrise or how good your pillows felt after a long trip away.

I've been working on my Photoshop and illustrations and made the above one after stills from Kilo Kish's Locket music video. It's weird how the drawing and the music video seem to capture all my foggy feelings about the end of a not bummer summer and my final year of high school.

Also, happy new year to everyone. I hope 2015 is turning out to be everything everyone wants, even if we're all a little broke right now or sad right now or ridiculously warm right now.