Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman

People will tell you a lot of things about the end of your childhood like "enjoy it, being an adult is miserable," or "you'll laugh about this later" or "get out my face, stupid kid" and while these are very useful (in the completely useless way almost all advice from adults seems), they don't prepare you for anything at all. Like, how the moments when you and your friends can all start doing things like driving to McDonald's anytime they want and book hotel rooms and cry at a desk job, your heart begins this awful series of palpitations and you spend a lot of time feeling like your eyes are glazed over because every thing's happening so fast and you haven't even had lunch yet and, what, when did everyone learn how to pay rates and taxes?!


So I've come up with a solution for those few that are really nauseated by the future (and by 'those few' I mean all of us because hahaha, we all hate this time nonsense - like when can it end amirite): dress up and eat BBQ chicken while one of your mates drinks out of a chalice marked '18' in rhinestones and glitter. There is no better way to avoid reality than with carbs and refashioning your brother's H&M old-man-who's-never-even-been-to-Hawaii T-shirts into a cute asymmetrical skirt and your favourite bangers by Chris Breezy and Taylor Swift from the 2000s. This approach works well with a net tank top from Mr Price, impractical high heels from Cotton On and as many cuffs, chokers, chains and rings that you haven't lost while crying over ugly conversations with adults that begin with, "WHAT R U STUDYING WHERE R U GOING TO UNI FIGURE OUT UR FUTUR RN TYVM."

I also suggest getting ready with a gaggle of your girls every time you go out because there's nothing better than mentioning that your eyebrows are teensy bit overgrown and having three pairs of tweezers and an eyebrow/lash brush waved in your face before you can say, "I'll just cover it up with a ridiculous amount of concealer."

Also, while my methods of denying/avoiding/evading the future are fun, it's also hours of work. What does everyone else do?

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