When a real nigga hold you down, you supposed to drown...
I know you're tired of loving, of loving/ With nobody to love, nobody, nobody/ Just grab somebody, no leaving this party/ With nobody to love, nobody, nobody.
--Bound 2, last track on Yeezus
{ Top: Standard Bank Joy of Jazz Festival in Newtown | Skirt: Free 2BU at Edgars | Shoes: Diva at Zando | Turban: FENDI scarf (probably fake, I don't know, it's not really mine) | Sunglasses: December 2012 issue of Elle with Mila Kunis on the cover (eep) | Rings and wrist stuff: Sass Diva, LEGiT and Jay Jays | Trampy red lips: L.A. Colors in Matte Berry Ice }
Recently I've been increasingly aware of change and growth around me and from me and I've needed to discuss it quite a bit, rather incoherently I might add. I think that age and my mortality is becoming a bigger presence in my every day life.
I've also grown aware of time. Rather how much time goes by and how little time I have left. Whether it be when I'm procrastinating doing a history presentation (that's due Tuesday, get it together Khensani) or just the way the hours lag on a Thursday at school or how I've been taking Saturdays for granted, laying around, watching bad TV, looking at blogs, taking naps. Not, you know, taking advantage of what I have now. I'm not trying to be a better person or do something meaningful-ish like read or draw or make memories with my friends.
That's another thing: "Whoever invented friendship was a genius, man."
There's nothing more magical and beautiful then finding another person who understands you, someone who looks at things the way you do or draws some of the same conclusions as you or thinks that flannel pajamas are so hot. Finding people like that makes you feel a little less crazy and volatile, you realise that you're not a lone soul wandering around on this Earth, looking at everything from the outside.
Suddenly you're on the inside, you understand the punchlines to all the jokes and you're allowed to laugh without feeling like someone is gonna turn around and tell you to kill yourself because that wasn't meant for you.
It's freeing.
Man, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have those people. People who'll make 'booty had me like' memes and rage with me over the percentage of the teenage male population that are so mind numbingly, heart crushingly, nature defyingly stupid (so, like, all of them) and remind me when I'm being crazy and I need to take hold of the reigns.
My day ones, my ride or dies, my forever bitches.
Yours,
Khenzo xx
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We can also talk about the overweight, grey cat I'm gonna name Atticus one day or how you're feeling.